My Lies Are From My Heart
by Lizicia
Summary: 'Rivka smiles but it isn't a friendly or even a casual smile, though it might seem so to a bystander. It is a dangerous smile because her presence in his house is already alarming.' Eyal's boss Rivka pays him a visit. Annie/Eyal-centric, post-5x04.


**A/N: Don't even ask me. I started out with wanting to write a story about why Eyal went back to Mossad but it somehow became a story about Rivka - Eyal's boss, if you've forgotten - knowing that Annie was at his house. So this happened.**

**Takes place after Annie leaves Eyal's house in 5x04. Also, there is a train station mentioned because apparently, there is no airport in Jerusalem. I did not know this.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

* * *

After he's dropped Annie off at the train station, Eyal takes a leisurely stroll down the streets of Jerusalem. The moment he steps inside his house, however, he feels a slight tingling at the back of his neck and knows that he is not alone. He wishes for his gun – which he doesn't have – but prepares himself for a close-quarter fight if it is deemed necessary. When he reaches the courtyard, however, he relaxes minutely, but not fully, at the sight of a middle-aged woman sitting where he and Annie were sitting the night before.

"Rivka, what a surprise."

"Not a pleasant one?"

"I'm not quite sure."

She smiles but it isn't a friendly or even a casual smile, though it might seem so to a bystander. In his eyes, it is a dangerous smile because her presence in his house is already alarming. There is a blue Mossad-marked file on the table in front of her and the bad feeling he is already getting from this situation intensifies. Rivka Singer does not make social calls to her employees' houses.

"Have you been entertaining guests?"

She gestures to the bottle of vodka and two shot glasses he left behind the night before and he knows that she knows just who, exactly, he was entertaining. Still, it is better to show himself as unaware than guilty.

"I don't clean very often. They've probably been here for days."

Her eyes narrow and he can feel her edge rise. "Really? Or perhaps Dr. Avram Shamir was your guest?"

Eyal's face betrays nothing while a thousand thoughts race through his head. How can she know that? Is he under surveillance?

"Avram? I haven't seen him since Haifa."

"Stop lying to me, Eyal."

Rivka's voice is cold and threatening and the underlying message is clear: if you come clean, you might get away with it. Still, he knows her well enough to also understand that there is no getting away with anything if she's already here but that does not mean he will outright tell her.

"And perhaps also agent Annie Walker?"

Now he isn't certain that his face isn't about to betray him. It is reasonable to think that if Rivka knows about Avram, she also knows about Annie but hearing Rivka say it out loud is still harrowing.

"Annie Walker is dead."

She lets out a disbelieving snort. "Really? Because she looks very much alive to me." The folder falls open with a twist of her wrist and he doesn't even have to step closer to see pictures of Annie walking out of his house, with him not far behind.

"Am I under surveillance, Rivka? I had no idea you had such suspicions about me." When under attack, he always offers a counter-strike, never a retreat.

Her gaze is piercing. "And I had no idea you _should_ be under surveillance before I saw this. What is a dead American operative doing in this country, in your house, Eyal?"

He doesn't respond but she carries on. "Perhaps I should've looked closer when you disappeared off to Europe two months ago and she turned up dead a few days later, so I let you go to her funeral. I thought I could trust you with a dead woman, after all. And now? What am I supposed to think?"

"What am _I_ supposed to think if my own agency is watching me?"

"Think, Eyal. Were we really watching you?"

He searches her face for answers she doesn't want to give and realizes. "You were watching Avram. But why?"

"That is really not your concern. But imagine my surprise when I am notified that he's making a house call to one of my agents. Am I to be concerned about your health, Eyal?"

"Sometimes you just need to be seen by a doctor."

Her eyes narrow and the steel in them would make a lesser man cave but he's had his fair share of dealings with her and doesn't give up under pressure.

"So his visit here has nothing to do with this woman?"

"I was as surprised as you are that she was alive."

"And Avram's diagnosis of myocarditis is also yours?"

The nitrate injections Avram wrote for Annie must've shown up somewhere; that is the only logical explanation he can think of how the Mossad would know what diagnosis he gave. And he told Annie she could trust him, could trust the both of them.

"Yes."

She laughs then and shakes her head as if in disbelief. "This will mean you must be on desk duty until our doctors have checked you out. And they are very busy at the moment. It could take at least a month."

He knows the game she is playing, recognizes the buttons she keeps pushing but doesn't relent because there is no other choice to make. "I understand."

"Will you really sacrifice yourself for this woman, Eyal? Just tell me it is her that is sick, and there will be no consequences."

Such information is potent and explosive in every hand, not less in the Mossad's than it would be in the CIA's. And he gave her his word, so Eyal is not going to cave, no matter how threatening Rivka can be or whatever methods she will use. He gave her his word and he will not break her trust again.

"There is nothing wrong with her."

"Except that she's miraculously alive again."

"Yes."

Rivka gives him a curious glance and changes the subject rather abruptly.

"Do you remember what you wanted from me when I told you to come back to Mossad?"

* * *

"_I thought I would find you here." Rivka's voice carries over the quiet bar he's chosen to enjoy a Sazerac – not as good as the one from D.C. - and he cringes. She's found him when he didn't want to be found and he's regretting all the things she knows about him. He knew it wouldn't be so easy to get rid of Mossad but he still hoped._

"_Are you going to drink or just stand there?"_

_She half-smiles and orders arak before sitting down next to him._

"_I thought you would be in Athens already."_

"_I had some good-byes to give." He is not surprised that she knows about his back-up plan but it still unnerves him._

"_Yes, I noticed. You went to see Avi and your mother. I've always known you're a good Jewish boy at heart."_

_He doesn't respond but slowly sips his drink. There is nothing more to say here._

"_There are not many operatives like you, Eyal. I would hate to see you throw your career away like this."_

_He makes a discontented noise and throws her a disbelieving glance. "My career? Don't you mean your perfect track record?"_

"_You think I don't care for you. You think I don't understand. But I do. You feel conflicted over what you had to do but it is your duty and you have never forsaken it."_

"_Well, now I have."_

"_I will not say I am sorry, Eyal. I was doing my duty and you must understand that. But I was foolish."_

"_Yes, you were."_

"_Every operative has a line they will not cross. I did not recognize that she was your line. That was my mistake."_

_His hand makes a fist and he inhales slowly, to not raise his voice at her, to not lose his cool because he never does that. "Is that all you came to say?"_

"_There is no life for you outside of Mossad and you know it. You are a son of Israel, a true warrior of our people. You cannot live your life without serving your country. Take back your foolish words about quitting."_

_As much as he wants to hate her, he also recognizes the truth in her words. _You live and breathe Mossad_. Annie's words come back to him as well. He might despise Rivka right now, he might be angry at her for using him, for forcing him to use Annie's trust but he also knows that she is right and he will not be satisfied with leaving Mossad. Even worse, he might come to resent Annie for being the catalyst to this decision, and that is a reality he doesn't want to live with. Besides, she's made her choice to not come with him and that was the one thing he was really counting on in all of this._

"_I have one condition."_

"_I'm listening."_

"_You will never again tell me to use her in any context."_

_Rivka seems to ponder it for a moment and when her eyes narrow, he knows that he will not like what she has to counter-offer._

"_Very well. But you cannot have any further contact with her. The Mossad can't allow this relationship to continue."_

_When she says_ the Mossad_, Eyal knows that she really means herself. The Mossad doesn't care but Rivka can't have him be loyal to someone else but herself._

"_Fine."_

* * *

"I remember."

"And yet you lie to my face." She says it with such frightening calm that he has no idea what she will do next. "Have you forgotten which side of the line she is on?"

"I do not care about sides."

"Clearly, when it comes to her." She pauses for a second but launches a second attack. "Tell me, are you sleeping with her?"

She's asked this twice now. Once, before, he already told her the truth. This time he doesn't need to say anything because she can see it all in his face.

"So, it is even worse. You are in love with her and that is why you are putting on this noble act."

He shrugs his shoulders because her statement is too inconceivable to even consider and too dangerous to admit.

"Unbelievable. I never thought I would see the day the great Eyal Lavin would have to bow down to such a thing. I always hoped you were better than this."

"Better than what?"

"It is such a pedestrian thing, beneath you. To be in love. I don't understand you at all."

"Maybe you have just never known me as well as you think."

She gets a rueful smile on her face. "Or, perhaps, neither one of us expected her."

She stands up and walks towards him, coming to a stop right beside him so he has to turn his head and keep looking at her. "On Monday, you report to Isaak Mendel in operational support. And I'll see about that doctor's appointment."

"Very well."

Rivka can't let him have the last word, of course, so she has one more comment to give as she walks away.

"I hope she is worth it."

If there is one thing he knows, it is this: she is.

* * *

**A/N: We probably won't see Eyal again any time soon, so I guess I'll have to keep writing to keep him alive.**


End file.
